Gotcha! This isn't a blog about my love life or finding the perfect African baby to adopt. So, sorry about that. It's a blog about personal hygiene on the World Race. Sounds interesting, huh? Believe me, it IS.
I grew up in a household where you showered everyday. Daily baths weren’t an option for the Woods family. When my sister and I were toddlers, Jan wouldn’t even let us in the house when we came home from daycare with the usual layer of playground dirt adorning our skin and clothes. She’d grab the hose, throw some bubbles in the baby pool, and bathe us toddlers right there in the front yard, much to the horror of our neighbors.
The rules were simple. You wash your body and your hair every night. You change your underwear in the morning and at night. It took me until college to find out that this is not how all children were brought up. I blame having a germo-phobic nurse as a mother. (I love you, Jan) “What if you’re in an accident, and you go to the hospital and they find out you’re wearing dirty underwear?” she’d say. What??
My nightly baths were fun as a child, I’d pour in lots of bubbles and a bucket load of Barbies or My Little Ponies. As I aged, I graduated to showers, but those didn’t seem nearly as exciting. I’d see if I could shower in the 2 or 3 minutes allotted for a commercial break during my favorite TV show. I’d sprint back into the family room with dripping hair, probably not quite as squeaky-clean as my mom would have hoped.
But somewhere along the road I adopted Jan’s germo-phobic ways. I avoid touching public door handles, I am an avid hand-washer, and I am far too fond of hand-sanitizer. Believe me, if you worked in an elementary school, Germex would be your best friend too. Kids, though I love them dearly, are gross. I have never missed a daily shower, minus my four-day camping trip my senior year of high school, and trust me, I was miserable without my shower.
I knew coming on the Race, I’d have to adjust to a different lifestyle and level of personal hygiene. I attempted to prepare myself by washing my hair every otherday. This proved helpful because during our first two months on the field, we were only allowed a shower every two days. This is when I was when my love affair with baby wipes began.
You think baby wipes are just for changing diapers? Oh, but how mistaken you are! On the Race, they serve a multitude of purposes, including, but not limited to, the following:
Baths.Yep, it just takes about 3 wipes, but you can get “clean” all over.
Cleaning pee off your sleeping bag.Yes, pee. Maybe it’s from a puppy you let inside your tent. Maybe it’s from the 3-year-old child of your host family who wet his pants.
Washing your face.It’s kind of like a Neutrogena cleansing towelette?
Cleaning your makeup brushes.Yep, a girl’s still got to take proper care of her makeup accessories.
Washing your hands.When you shake every child’s hand in the village, it’s probably a good idea to do a little wipey-wipe afterward.
TOILET PAPER.When you have to pee in a hole or squatty potty, I promise you feel way cleaner afterward with a baby wipe.
Cleaning the inside of your tent.No matter how hard you try, you will track dirt inside your tent. Now, just baby wipe that mess right out the door (flap).
Cleaning exploding products in your pack. It happens. Lip gloss explodes. Body spray explodes. Shampoo explodes. Never fear, you’ve got baby wipes.
Disinfect a phone after dropping it a toilet(Thanks to Ash for this contribution). Don’t worry, it was a western toilet, but still.
Disinfect earphones when borrowing them from a friend.
Wipe off dirty shoes.Not all sidewalks in foreign countries are as squeaky clean as in the states. Most of the time, sidewalks don’t exist. But there are plenty of opportunities to play dodge the mud puddle!
Cleaning off a shelf for storing your products. Occasionally, we’re blessed with an actual area to place our belongings for the month. Sometimes it’s small square of floor in the corner, sometimes it’s a chair. If we’re really lucky it’s a real, live shelf!
Cleaning toothpaste off the floor.We all miss our toothbrush every now and then.
Cleaning a dirty computer keyboard.Crazily enough, my white Macbook has gotten a little dingy whilst on the Race. But don’t worry about that, one little baby wipe, and she’s good as new!
Cleaning stains off of your clothes.Need to re-wear that part of REI capris for the 5th time, but they have a toothpaste stain? No problem. Your teammate spills coffee on your lap during home fellowship? Not to worry.
Somehow, with a little help from a jumbo pack of baby wipes, I’ve become a true World Racer. Guys, I sometimes go for 3 or 4 days without a shower. Not because there’s no water or because we’ve been asked to, but by choice.Sometimes, it’s just too much of a hassle! Who am I???
I took longer than most of my fellow Racers, but 7 months later, I’ve finally become a trueWorld Racer. I wear shirts a minimum of 2 to 3 times before washing them. Pants, 4 to 5 times. I’ll wear the same pajamas for a week. Underwear must still be changed everyday!! Hostel beds don’t gross me out anymore, they are a welcome luxury when the other option is the floor. I only wash my face once a day, when it used to be two. Ok, ok, I still wear flip-flops every time I shower. But I only wash my Nalgene water bottle maybe once a month.
Are you grossed out yet? I’m kind of grossing myself out. But this is my life these days. My germ-related OCD has become much more manageable. I just have to sit back, relax, and say, “Hey, when you’re on the World Race… do as the World Racers do.” I promise, I’ll try to practice better hygiene when I’m back in the States. Well, maybe…
I feel the need to give you a little glimpse into the wonderful world of Kenya, Africa. We have been here for barely a week and a half, and a giant, dopey smile is pasted on my face more often than not. It’s true, I’ve caught the disease. No, not malaria (praise the Lord!)—the Africa joy. This place is so full of joy, and it’s infectious, intoxicating.
The skies are so blue, with the biggest puffy, white clouds. The weather is crisp and cool at night, warm and sunny in the afternoons, like those first glorious days of springtime in Tennessee. It rains maybe once a day, but I welcome the precipitation with open arms. It’s not the hot, stifling rain of Malaysia or the depressing, non-stop rain of Guatemala, but the cool, refreshing kind you’d like run outside and drink in.
We are staying in a house, yes, a real house. Our amazing hosts, Anne and Samuel, are the most kind, generous couple. They tell us they are our parents, and it is their pleasure to have us. Ann generously heats up water for my bucket shower, telling me that it is no bother, it is her pleasure. Samuel drives his car to come pick us up when the night fell too quickly as we walked back from town, he and Anne worried for us as for their own children. They’ve provided beds and mosquito nets (thank goodness!) for all seven of us. Anne and Zipporah, the sweet house girl, prepare the most delicious meals of lentils, beef and vegetable stews, chapatti (like thick, delicious tortillas), rice, egg sandwiches, mango, avocado, and more. We drink African Chai tea every morning and at 4:00 teatime. I try to limit myself to 2 cups max.
I have fallen completely, head over heels in love with Anne and Samuel’s four children, Linus (boy, 12), Delight (boy, 7), Glee and Gracious (3 year old boy and girl twins!). We have made a game out of trying to get Glee and Gracious to remember all seven of our names. Gracious runs up to me, throws her arms around me, and says “My name is ‘Seenee.” (She doesn’t quite understand English possessive pronouns yet). Glee is my little snuggle bunny. He crawls into my lap, hunkers down, and grabs each of my arms to wrap them around himself. He could sit like this for hours. So could I.
My babies: Glee, Delight, & Gracious
We walk down the muddy streets of Nakuru, and children giggle, wave, and run after us shouting, “Mzungu! Mzungu! How are you??” (Mzungu means “white person”). One of our first mornings, we walked into Bliss Ministries, and a tiny little girl, no older than 2 years, followed us and kept repeating “Mun-gu, mun-gu, mun-gu…” over and over. It was the cutest thing I’d ever heard.
I walk into a run-down hospital with open-air rooms, many beds, concrete walls. Lord, please be here. This is not my thing at ALL. Give me the words to say and show me what to do to help these patients. I can’t do this without You. God leads me to Esther. She speaks English. She just had a pancreatic cyst removed. We talk and talk. She tells me about her children and her business selling liquid soap door to door. We talk about the Lord’s faithfulness and the power of prayer. She is a beautiful woman. I pray with her and come away smiling and encouraged.
We walk into a room full of new friends and are immediately bombarded by enthusiastic declarations:
"Hello" "Jambo!”
“Praise the Lord!” “Bwana asifiwe!”
“I am born again!”
“Feel free!”
“You are most welcome!”
“I am bound for Heaven!” (This is my favorite)
“God bless you!” "Mungu akubariki!"
We stand in a tiny room, packed with the most beautiful people, every shade of brown. They have the biggest, whitest, brightest smiles I’ve ever seen. They repeat over and over how we are welcome, God bless us, feel free. As I reach out to shake their hands they excitedly slap their hand into mine, grasp my shoulders and pull me in to a genuine, double-sided hug. I have never felt more truly appreciated.
Many of our new friends are named after people of great faith from the Bible: Samuel, Esther, Ruth, Abraham. More are named after virtues, which I love: Purity, Grace, Immaculate. They speak of how blessed they are that God sent us to them. They realize it is not that we have lots of money or are better in any way, but because the Lord has been so gracious and faithful to bring us all together. It’s so true.
One loud voice emits a beautiful chorus to begin the time of worship. All the other voices in the room join in as two separate and unique drumbeats begin to weave in between the notes. I join in when the words in Swahili are easy and repeat, or if they are in English. “In the house of Lord there is healing today… In the house of the Lord there is dancing today… Hallelujah today, Hallelujah today.” Hands are clapping and waving, feet are jumping, bodies are swaying. Women’s voices cry out, Xena Warrior Princess style, adding to the swell of sound. If I’d been in this room 8 months ago, I’d have been pretty uneasy. Now, I join in, clapping, moving to the beat, dopey smile and all. It’s this joy.
It has infected my blood and invaded my soul.
Already, I am changed.
Because of Africa, I will never be the same.
1. Seeing people wearing facemasks as normally as they wear shirts and pants. I guess when your main mode of transportation is a motorbike, there’s no protection against the air pollution.
2. Having to yield for a monkey in the road instead of a squirrel.
3. Going for 4 days without a shower out of my own free will. I know, you’re shocked. What has happened to the clean freak Sydney? That’s a great question. I’ll make any excuse: I don’t want to take a cold shower, my towel is at the cleaners, I’m too tired, I’m just going to get dirty again tomorrow… Hey, it took me 7 months to become a “true” world racer. Some of my squad mates have been going for week or more since Month 1!
4. Preaching my first sermon!
5. Getting overly excited when you find solid deodorant at the grocery store. It’s the little things in life. And I hate wet armpits from the roll-on kind.
6. Finding out that love isn’t the only thing that crosses all languages and cultures. There’s also Justin Beiber.
7. Feeling naked while wearing sleeveless shirts or shorts above the knee. Apparently bare knees and shoulders are as scandalous as showing… well, you know, your other parts in America.
8. Getting caught in motorbike traffic jams. Try crossing the street as a pedestrian when you’re in a street like this. They won’t slow down for you.
9. People dressed for winter (Read: pants, long sleeves, coats, socks, hats, and gloves) when it’s 95°and up. Apparently it is far more important to have pale skin than to not sweat to death.
10. You will walk or bike miles in the heat or rain for internet.
11. Seeing some of the cutest clothes at the market, but don’t worry, they’re only for Asian-sized people. (Read: Size 2 or smaller)
12. Learning to literally dodge tuk-tuks, cars, and trucks on a bicycle. Don’t forget to use your hand signals when you’re turning, it could save your life.
13. Getting $4 pedicures! I won’t be able to justify $30 pedicures in the States anymore…
14. Not being able to see “The Hunger Games” in movie theaters because the government is afraid the movie will give people ideas about overthrowing the government. Don’t worry, we saw it ASAP in the next non-closed country.
15. Taking photos of the people dressed up in cultural attire at a festival or of beautiful scenery at the beach, only to find out that there are locals taking pictures of YOU. White people are so exciting and rare!
16. Getting hushed by the locals on the bus while talking with a teammate at a normal conversational volume. Apparently there is a code of silence on public transportation. Stupid, loud Americans!
17. Discover flavors of Pringles you didn’t know existed such as Peking Duck, Seaweed, and Shrimp! They were… interesting.
18. Mistaking fish sauce for soy sauce when pouring the only 2 choices of condiments on your rice. Warning: this is a mistake you do not want to make.
19. Finding a whole outfit at the market for only $6 USD! Oh, and accidentally buying a shirt with a Buddha on it. I thought it was an elephant... just neglected to notice the 6 arms. Don't worry, they let me trade it for and I heart Cambodia shirt :)
20. Falling head over heels in love with avocado smoothies.The best combination to me is avocado, carrot and banana. Trust me, it will change your life.
21. Praying against lice as hard as I pray for anything. It is one of my biggest fears! So far… so good. But keep praying.
22. Being super thankful for luxuries such as beds, hot showers, and “air con.” Even just having one out of the three makes you feel as if you’re living like a king!
23. Convincing locals that Americans all do the “I love you” symbol to say hello & goodbye, just like they do the peace sign.
24. Having lessons on how to use a squatty potty and dispose of your toilet paper. Word to the wise: AWAYS carry toilet paper with you in Asia. It is usually unavailable or comes at a price.
25. God totally changing my mind and my attitude toward the land and the people of Asia. I came in thinking that Asia would just be a pit stop on my way to Africa, where I felt God had called me all along. But God used these 4 months in Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Malaysia to totally change my heart. These are some of the most kind, loving, beautiful people I’ve ever encountered. And they desperately need Jesus. I thought Central American children were the cutest, but the sweet babies I worked with in Cambodia and Malaysia might give them a run for their money! God did so much in me during these 4 months, I wouldn’t take them back for the world.
*Update*We are in the land of Africa now!! We landed in Kenya on the morning of April 30th, and we will be spending the month here working in the city of Nakuru. We will be preaching in churches and working with Bliss Women and Children Ministry. I am already falling completely in love with this place. The weather is cool and perfect, the people are beautiful and SO warm-hearted and welcoming, the food cooked by our host family is AMAZING, and I want to hug every child that I see. I think it’s going to be an incredible month!!
It’s one of those words. It pretty much has a negative connotation any way you look at it. “Flesh” colored clothing? It’s either for undergarments or is a color you wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing for fear of looking naked. “Flesh,” as in skin? My mind always goes to thoughts of flesh melting off from 3rd degree burns. (Too many ER television shows, thanks Mom!) “Flesh” as in the “Christianese” term? It refers to the sinful parts of our lives that are not of Christ. Those parts that we spend most of our lives on earth battling against as we are sanctified by the Holy Spirit and made more and more like God.
Me? I’m talking about Defintion #3. My flesh and I, we’re at war.
There are days when the Holy Spirit fills me up with such strength, and I win those battles. Then, there are days—and it seems like there’s been more of these lately than usual—when I wake up, and my flesh is out for blood.
Take Sunday, for instance. I woke up on the wrong side of my sleeping pad (no beds this month). I’d slept terribly for the last several nights, had a crick in my neck from painting the church ceiling, and was not quite in the mood for a marathon church service in a language I can’t even begin to understand. A barrage of emotions was hammering and beating against me. I’d been missing home terribly. I’d been struggling to be patient and kind towards others. I’d been craving the community of friends in the States who truly know my heart. I was nervous for the challenges Africa will bring next month.
Overall, I couldn’t see the fruit of my time here on the Race. I know that maybe now isn’t the time for me to see it. Maybe I’m just planting seeds. Maybe I’ll see the fruit years on down the road. But all I can see right now are my shortcomings. My flesh coming out in full force.
So, once more, I cried out to the Lord to rescue me from the muck and the mire in which I’m drowning.
“The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” –Matthew 26:41
That was me, to a T.
“For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death.” –Romans 7:5
Is that what I’m doing by living by the flesh? Bearing fruit for death? Oh, Lord, that is absolutely notwhat I desire. But how do I change??
Then the Father sweetly reminded me of a vital part of the story I’d somehow temporarily forgotten:
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. But God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” –Romans 8:1-4
Why was I so caught up in my flesh and sinfulness?
Why was I condemning myself when God does not condemn me?
How had I forgotten that I have been set free?
I’d been walking according to my flesh, that was for dang sure. But by doing so, I was ignoring, even disregarding, the work that Jesus Christ did for me on the Cross.
It was a huge wake up call from the Lord:
“SYDNEY, snap out of it! That is notthe life I called you to. I called you to be free. I called you live by the Spirit! So what are you doing? It is finished!”
So that’s what I have to do. It’s what wehave to do. I can’t live everyday out of my own strength. I can’t love or serve out of my own free will or desire—it won’t cut it. The only way I can make it through life’s up and downs is to live by power of the Spirit.
How do we do it? Simple. We decide to, each and every morning when we wake up. We decide to in those moments when our flesh creeps in, uninvited. We decide to when the last thing we want to do is the thing God is asking us to do. That’s when we cry out for help.
“Holy Spirit, live through me today. Love through me today. Give me the strength to accomplish all that you have for me today. Guide my steps. Be the words on my tongue. Rescue me in those moments when my flesh sneaks up on me and tries to take over. Be the light and the joy inside of me that overflows into all that I do. Amen.”
*Ministry Update*: I know, I know. That's two pretty heavy, spiritually-heavy posts in a row! But I promise there are good things happening this month in Malaysia. We've gotten the chance to work with some pretty adorable children with our the church's children's ministry, and I am LOVING it. I keep thinking I've found the country with the cutest children... but it might be Malaysia. We had a blast celebrating Easter with them. Just wanted to share a picture or two of these sweet babies :)
So, in my pre-Race mindset, the hard parts about a mission trip might have included the following: missing my family and loved ones, language barriers, and maybe some funky food every now and then.
What are the actual hardest parts? For me, it’s relationships, physical and spiritual exhaustion, and coming face to face with my own sin and brokenness.
As long as I’m being honest, I’ll admit that Vietnam is probably going to be at the bottom of my list of the countries we’ve been to. Why? It’s a long story, but I’ll sum it up by saying that our ministry contacts fell through more than once, we had to pack up and move locations three different times, and my team and I experienced some major spiritual warfare throughout the month we were there.
Conclusions? God is still good.
Even though it was a rough month, and even though I have zero desire to return to Vietnam, what the Lord showed me is that He is still faithful. He is always faithful.
“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” -2 Thessalonians 3:3
And He is faithful. And He does guard me against the evil one. Even when Satan tries his darndest to hit me right where it hurts. When he knocks down my defenses and strips me bare, leaving me feeling vulnerable and terrified, God is still there.
I had a trying couple of weeks at then end of our month in Cambodia, where I experienced some pretty intense homesickness. I thought I was fine. I thought I was strong and invincible. Me? Homesick? Never. I’m too strong for that. Or so I thought. And then it hit me like a freight train. How was I going to get through six more months of the Race when I all wanted was to be home thatvery instant??
But again, God was faithful. In my weakest moments, I cried out to Abba, Father for help. I needed His joy. I needed his strength. Desperately.
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” –Psalm 51:12
“…do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” –Nehemiah 8:10
And, lo and behold, God answered. He filled me up with such joy, such strength. I remember riding on the back of a motorbike through the insane traffic of Ho Chi Minh City, and not being able to contain my smile and my laughter. I wanted to scream, "God is SO GOOD!" Even when I was beaten up spiritually & emotionally, He still blessed me. He blessed me with His Presence so close it was almost tangible. He blessed me with opportunities to teach and meet sweet new Vietnamese friends. He blessed me with laughter and a renewed spirit and energy for the mission field.
The joy and strength that I asked for was mine. And it was right in time for a major spiritual attack. And I was knocked to my knees for a moment, but because of the Lord’s strength, I was able to rise again and keep fighting.
“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…” -1 Corinthians 4:8
So, I don’t want there to be any confusion. I may post pictures of water parks, skating rinks, and precious children. But, believe me, the mission field is far from being all fun and games. This year God has taken me on a journey over some of the highest mountains and also some of the lowest valleys I’ve ever experienced. The biggest lesson I’m learning (and re-learning and re-learning…) is that I am one broken human being. Time and time again, the Lord has shown me the depths of my self-centeredness. I can’t love others and still love myself more. I can’t serve my God and still serve myself more. It’s probably a lesson I’ll continue to learn my whole life.
All of these things have made me realize that suffering, discomfort, and spiritual warfare are a real part of being on the mission field. But God asks each of us,
Are we going to embrace our comforts, or are we going to embrace the Cross?
Will we live for pleasure in this world, or paradise in the World to come?
Ultimately, I can trust that God is sovereign in my trials. Through them I am growing more into His likeness. I am learning to trust in His wisdom. I am learning to rely on Him in a whole new way. I am learning to live for His reward. (James 1)
Ultimately, I can trust in His goodness:
His goodness is unchanging.
His goodness is undeserved.
His goodness is unending.
Will you trust that too?
*Side note* We are safe in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia! Working with an Tabernacle of Glory church helping with their children's ministry, painting the new church building, and performing fantastic vocal compositions with the "Wellspring Band" on Sunday mornings. More details to come!
Well, I’m not sure if his name was Charlie, but I did meet a cute Vietnamese baby at the Co-op supermarket, and he was super cute, and he did grab my finger and immediately chomp down on it, much like one of my all-time favorite YouTube videos.
Parents love for their kids to wave and say "hello" to us Americans.
So, please forgive my silence for the last couple weeks, but I’m back, and I’ve got updates! For your reading ease, I’ve created a bulleted list of the most recent and exciting events in the land of Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.
Making it to the half-way point on the Race! 5 ½ months down, 5 ½ to go! We’ve traveled roughly 21,000 miles, slept in approximately 15 different beds (or floors), spoken (at least a little of) 4 different languages, and been in 9 different countries since we started. We decided to celebrate with an 80s Skate Party!
Never knew my hair could get this big...
Teaching English (surprise, surprise!) to our hotel owner’s daughter, Svieta, and multiple English Clubs. At English clubs we converse, play games, dance, and sing with young Vietnamese students and professionals who want to improve their English. It is such a blast!
Chatting on a literal sidewalk cafe New friends at English club
Prayer-walking the streets of District 3 (Yes, we have districts, much like the Hunger Games!) We pray for the country, leaders and people of Vietnam, that they would come to know the Father and that He would one day reign in this place.
Getting past my wall. Yep, as much as I hate to admit it, I hit a wall. I was home-sick, drained of joy, exhausted, and at the end of my rope. But through some intense, down-on-my knees moments, the Father has once again filled me with joy and strength and refreshment. Thank you to all who have fought for me. I am so blessed!
Learning more about the history of the Vietnam War. So much I missed in my history classes. We visited the Cu Chi tunnels, where we crawled underground where the Vietcong fought with guerilla warfare against the American army. We also visited the Vietnam War Museum, where we saw some very disturbing photographs and accounts of the horrible suffering of war victims.
American Army Helicopter
Getting creative with hair-dos and outfits. After almost 6 months of wearing the same 5 outfits, you do what you can to introduce a little variety.
Bec & I raided each other's closets!
My Pinterest-Inspired hair creations on Nikki & Shanna
Seeing a Saigon Heat basketball game! Oddly, most of the players are American, and the stadium was roughly the size of my high school’s basketball arena, but it was a good time nonetheless.
Going to a water park with 200 orphans. We has a blast loving on the kids, racing and crashing on the slides, relaxing in the lazy river, and attempting to run across a floating bridge without it flipping over.
Getting stuck in a TINY hotel elevator with 7 people. Whoops.
Finding out that they actually DO wear these hats in Asia.
Discovering my love for Indian food (go figure) and Avocado smoothies! Sounds gross, I know, but add sugar and condensed milk and it is amaaazing… Try it. It’s really good for you and has about zero calories. :)
And finally, daily battles with the insane motorbike traffic as we cross the streets. There are more motorbikes than cars here, and they do not yield for pedestrians!
How many motorbikes can you squeeze into one lane?
And, just to give you an idea of how crazy the traffic is, another little video for you!
Two nights ago, during a team feedback session, my awesome leader, Ash, encouraged the Wellspring women to create our own, personally unique Psalm. She challenged us to pour out our hearts just as David poured out his time and again in this amazing book. She told us to be real, raw. I jumped at the opportunity, as I truly love to write. I love to process things through written word, and I'm an avid journaler (journalist?).
I went back and forth over whether or not to share it with my blogger world, but I'm a huge advocate of being real, being honest, and I'll tell anyone I meet that I'm pretty much an open book. A couple weeks ago, I posted a prayer that I had written, a very real, heart-felt prayer. Lately I've been feeling a bit anxious about the future, I've felt anxious to hear God's voice and know His will for my life, and I've been struggling a bit with missing home. So, in the spirit of continuing to be open and honest, here's my Psalm:
Oh, my Father, Lord of my Heart
Where have you gone?
My soul longs for you as for a long-lost love.
My ears yearn to hear your comforting whispers.
I ache to be wrapped in your strong embrace.
My thoughts and my emotions wage war against each other.
My mind and my heart are battered from the blows;
they are a desolate battlefield.
My soul's desire is for the comforts of home,
the affections of my family, the laugher of my dear friends.
But I am overcome with fear at the very same time.
I tremble to meditate on the future.
Will I find a job I love?
Will I afford the bills as they stack up,
threatening to bury me underneath?
Will I still be loved?
Will you call me again onto the battlefield?
Why do I wish away the thing I wanted so much?
Lord, you know I wanted adventure.
Lord, I said I'd follow you wherever you would lead.
Lord, I never imagined it would be this hard.
You blessed me more than I can even express,
but it was not without cost.
My heart has broken;
my flesh has torn away.
The new, pure, and holy me is beginning to show through.
Lord, I hate the pain,
yet I want to be more like you.
I hestitate to even ask for it,
for fear of losing who I was.
But who I was is who I am not.
I am she no longer.
I am Yours, my beloved Father,
my Creator, my Redeemer,
my One True Love.
And that is all I need to know.
Want to know what Cambodia is like? It’s HOT. It is by far the hottest country we’ve been in. We pretty much live in a perpetual state of sweatiness. We’ve learned to become extremely thankful for fans and cold showers. Besides these blessings, I also have the privilege this month of getting to work with KIDS again this month! I absolutely loved building relationships with teenagers and university students the past two months, but I am overjoyed to return to the ones that truly fill my heart.
This month my teammates Shanna, Tressa, and I are working in the village of Bakong, which is about 30-45 minutes outside of our city, Siem Reap. We hop on a tuk-tuk (small carriage attached to the back of a motorbike) and make the bumpy trek out to the village to teach English each day. I teach a class of about 40ish children around the ages of 4-7 years (and I thought my friends who teach Kindergarten had it tough!). I am teaching English for beginners, including phonics, reading, writing and vocabulary. I have learned that it takes a LOT of energy, songs, interaction, and a LOUD voice in order to keep these kids engaged.
But I love it. I love teaching. I love giving high fives and hugs when the kids get the answers right, or for no reason at all. I am quickly falling in love with these precious children. At first, I was a little less than comfortable in this new setting. It is by far the poorest group of people we’ve been around thus far. Most of the children don’t own shoes, they wear the same dirty clothing every day, and many of them have lice (my worst nightmare!). But more quickly than I thought possible, God, broke down these barriers in my heart, and I hardly even notice anymore.
These children are so full of joy, so full of love, I cannot help but hug them, hold their hands, dance with them. They are simply beautiful, and they have totally captured my heart.
Here’s a few photos of my new loves:
Playing a game with a piece of string, it's like the opposite of the limbo!
But you're terrified of what it would mean for your life, right? Stepping out of your comfort zone, missing your family, crazy foods, sleeping on the ground, living on a teeny-tiny budget, total abandonment to the Lord...
Recently, I had a friend ask me my thoughts on the Race so far, and obviously, I'm an expert, because I've been doing this thing for 4 whole months. So, for any future Racers considering taking the plunge, here are my thoughts on the Race thus far:
Of course, I would absolutely recommend the Race to anyone. It's definitely different than I envisioned, but so, so good. I imagined hopping from country to country, seeing the sites, holding some babies, coming home. (Don't know what dream-world I was living in at the time...) but I knew that I needed a change, I needed TO change, and broaden my view of the world from my tiny little Sydney-sized bubble. I knew God had been preparing me for something more, something bigger than myself, and it was really neat to see how all roads led to this. I knew God had been preparing me for something, I knew He was calling me to change, calling me to serve, calling me away from the world I knew.
A lot of people go on the race because they feel called to missions, they want to see the world, they want to serve, they don't know what to do with their lives, they want to see where God leads them for possible full-time mission-work. God definitely has worked through our squad over the last 4 months. People have come to Christ, people have been healed, Christ's love has been spread all over the place. But more than anything, I feel like each one of us are going through a soul makeover that will not leave any of us the same. God has definitely broken my heart for missions, I fell in love with Central America, but in the meantime, God was working on things in my heart I didn't even realize needed to change. God has brought me, completely broken, to my knees (more than once) in the last 4 months.
Things I have LOVED:
-Learning new cultures
-Loving and building relationships with some incredibly beautiful, kind people
-Building relationships with my stinkin' awesome teammates and squadmates
-Seeing God's breath-taking creation and incredible sites all over the world
-Eating amazing food
-Knowing God in a whole new way
-Learning to depend on Him and TRUST Him in a whole new way
-Becoming bolder in my faith and unafraid to share my faith
Things that have been challenging:
-Stepping out of my comfort zone when it comes to living arrangements/food/culture
-Living in CLOSE proximity with teammates (read: little alone time)
-Leaving people I've fallen in love with at the end of each month
-Being away from home & the people I love
-Coming face to face with my sin and shortcomings
-Learning to love people through their sins and shortcomings
I'm not going to lie to you and say that these months been a breeze, but the magnitude and the eternal significance of the GOOD far, far outweigh the challenges.
You'll never be the same.
You'll be changed for GOOD (double entendre intended).
Please email me if you have questions about anything and everything... I promise, I'm an open book :) sydneyclare@gmail.com
